Behold the Kickmen is a football game made by someone who has no understanding of, or interest in, what is affectionately known as "The Wonderful Game". Start at the bottom of the Big Boring Football Spreadsheet and grind your way up to become the best at the football anyone's ever seen.
Ricevi una notifica istantanea quando il gioco raggiunge lo sconto desiderato
Unified technical telemetry aggregated from Steam, Valve Steam Deck, ProtonDB, PCGamingWiki, and IGDB.
| Lingua | Interfaccia | Audio | Sottotitoli |
|---|---|---|---|
| Inglese |
Official minimum and recommended hardware configurations.
Top helpful player reviews pulled directly from the Steam open registry with verified playtime hours.
The game started as a joke. The entire development process was one long pun chain of purposely (or not) getting the Beautiful Game wrong. Every furious correction sent in by someone who wasn't in on the joke ended up spurring the developer into zanier and more purposely wrong territories; Premiere League being the lowest one (obviously it's the one you Premiere in), the Offside rule being a side of the pitch you're not allowed to stand on. An oval round pitch a hundred meters in length, and the game split into two divisions with variable scoring based on how far away from the goal you were when you did it. It purposely ignores anything remotely connected to serious research. It wallows in it's own ignorance and subsists on the grinding of teeth from people who treat sportsball too seriously. And we love you for it Dan. Never change. As for the game itself, a quick action game with a pa
Behold the Kickmen gets an A+ for humor, but is sitting with a solid C for actual gameplay. There are certainly moments where I'm like 'this is some decent fun', but there are many other moments where the paperthin gameplay mixes with questionable design flaws. I was hoping for something addicting in the vein of Rocket League, but I got something more reflecting this price point. Essentially, this is football/soccer with an alternate rule set and arena. There are 'wind up' mechanics for shooting and tackling. Because tackling and shooting happen so often, I think the 'wind up' breaks the flow of the game, but that's probably just me. There is also this weird sidedness to tackling; it is much easier to successfully steal the ball when the opponent is going south. Again, not sure if this is intended, but it feels strange. The controls in general can be a bit finnicky. The career mode was
Behold the Kickmen is not only funny, which was pretty much a given after watching its development unfold on developer Dan Marshall's twitter account. It's also really fun to play. After playing through the Tutorial (or feeling really bad for not doing so), you start at the bottom of the league with a team of guys that pretty much can't do anything. However, as you start doing goals and winning games, you start unlocking abilities and earning money to upgrade your players. The abilities you unlock include passing (which is extremely well implemented and pleasing to use), giving effect to the ball after a big kick, and others like better tackling (also a really cool mechanic), sprinting and dashing to avoid enemy players. The difficulty curve seems pretty fair: the first match is quite easy, and after that you'll find lots of teams that will literally give you a run for your money.
I bought this game after seeing Nerdcubed's video on it because it looked so fun! And it is...to begin with. The sense of humour and the whole design of the game is imbeccable, it's great fun, strangely immersive even though it's ridiculous, I can't fault the design of the game in that sense at all. And the first league is great fun to play through, but this is where things change, and why I wouldn't be willing to recommend the game just yet. The difficulty curve, if we can call it that, suddenly takes an enormous jump. Aside from the ocassional glitches that are still in the game, the AI suddenly remembers it is a computer and can kick your sorry meat-arse without even trying if it wants to. And it does! Quite suddenly the ball is being passed around the pitch from player to player at such an incredible rate you'll be lucky to know where on the pitch you even are any more. A bit of s
This game is testament to the fact that the worst thing ever to happen to sports games was realism.
I really appreciated the humor but the mechanics were not smooth or fun in the least. I'd highly recommend this dev's other games, they're fantastic.
Structured threads, verified dev answers and player expertise without chat noise
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