Coffee Crisis is an arcade-style beat 'em up full of caffeinated carnage! This is a full scale release for the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive, packed with classic gameplay and an extra espresso shot of action!
An evil race of aliens called the Smurgliens has watched Earth for years. Through their observations, they deduce that the best humanity has to offer is its wifi, cat videos, metal music, and coffee. Two baristas from the Black Forge Coffee House, Nick and Ashley, take it upon themselves to confront the threat after their coffee shop is invaded.
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Unified technical telemetry aggregated from Steam, Valve Steam Deck, ProtonDB, PCGamingWiki, and IGDB.
| Lingua | Interfaccia | Audio | Sottotitoli |
|---|---|---|---|
| Inglese |
Official minimum and recommended hardware configurations.
Top helpful player reviews pulled directly from the Steam open registry with verified playtime hours.
Boy did I really want to like this game, but alas it was not meant to be. While the graphics and zany story is somewhat charming, the gameplay is an absolute mess. It almost feels like the creators of this never played a beat em up before, and if they did... well, they should've taken better notes. The biggest issue is the lack of hitstunning when you attack an enemy, Every decent beat-em up game does this, if you punch an enemy, they're stunned so you can continue to attack them. This is the basics of any beat-em up, but it is not used in this game at all. Instead you'll punch and kick an enemy, and despite scoring a hit, the enemy will walk right out of your attacks like they're nothing. To add to this issue, the game will constantly bombard you with anywhere from 4 to 10 enemies at a time, and they will all attack you at once, with no ability to stun them. Hell, when you attack one
an unplayable mess made by people who have no idea how to make a beat'em'up game. anything after level 3 is unbeatable in single player because they spawn 10-14 enemies at you at once, most of them also shoot and your attack range is extremely short
Do not buy this game if you are achievement hunter. Since two of the achievements are broken. Developer abandoned this game long time ago and not answering in steam discussion forums nor via email.
Played the demo and figured I'd pick up the full game for some couch co-op. Did not take very long for us to get bored of it, it simply felt a bit too much on the retro scale. Controls felt floaty and the whole combat system with ranged enemies and no way to dodge or block only lead to doing nothing but jumpkicks. There's no indicators or explanations what certain pickups do and various other small annoyances noticed in a short period of play. So yeah, too old school for me. Might go back and re-try it at some point since the art is pretty nicely done, and it has a nice metal soundtrack too.
Crim's Humble Opinion Curator Coffee Crisis is a difficult and fun homebrew retro game. There is a physical copy of the game for those curious on megadrive. There are some differences with the PC version. You have two characters to choose from in this zany story. It took a little under an hour for me to clear on single player. Multiplayer is also available. This game is pretty difficult. The eight levels vary in length; because some of them you fight only a boss and move on. You will find yourself overrun quickly and will probably die often. You have to be very careful with attacks because enemies usually have a farther range than you. You can find items but there are no ranged items that I have found to try to take out ranged enemies with that doesn't drop in regular play. There are some on mutator play. There are four difficulties to choose from, and if you are having a huge amount
Thought it would play similar to Streets of Rage, but it's just a clunky mess. The music is the best part of the game. Terrible controls, terrible level balance, the game throws waves of AI at you after giving you 3 baddies in the first level. Tried to access to (super) secret level via level code and it was 100% broken. Couldn't back out of the menu, had to use task manager to close the game. Feels like there was very little quality control put into this one.
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